"Off the Alcohol Goes"
(Dehydration of Alcohols)
(to the tune of "Puff, the Magic Dragon"

Off, the alcohol goes, OH leaves the scene.
With acid as the magic wand You're left with an alkene.
The OH takes a proton; Water will not stay.
The carbocation that forms Then sends H+ away.

To take away that H+ A Bronsted base is good.
A double bond will then be formed Where OH and H stood.
Tertiary alcohols Dehydrate with gusto.
It's harder with secondary To get OH to go.

Oh,
Off, the alcohol goes, OH leaves the scene.
With acid as the magic wand You're left with an alkene.

When you have primary Alcohols you'll see
The carbocation is so Unstable, it won't be.
Reaction is concerted, And when not tertiary,
The cation may rearrange To one that's third degree.

Oh,
Off, the alcohol goes, OH leaves the scene.
With acid as the magic wand You're left with an alkene.

by Thomas Ott
Oakland University, Rochester MI